Hello Advil, Its me Shelley

Well, Day 4 of P90X isn't all it is cracked up to be. Yoga. I looked at that DVD and said "piece of cake." Fast forward 30 minutes and I am thinking India where Yoga originated must be Purgatory. Who in the HELL would come up with this shit? Why do I need to contort my body in unnatural poses that cause great discomfort only to be sweating and shaking and feeling completely inept?

Damn, at least if I can't do a pull up, I feel like - well YEAH...neither can most of Fatso America. But to not be able to touch my toes or do a pose called downward dog..and do I really want to do a pose called downward dog if I'm not having sex???? Truly folks, this is a test of will. So, I paused the DVD at minute 30 promising myself that after my Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University class, I will eagerly come back to it and complete it. Tune in tomorrow for more on that.

In the meantime, although I am a web/graphic designer extraordinaire, I thought you should know that I am the patron saint to working parents everywhere and I run a preschool out of my home. Shut up I don't use the same language with my sweet little darlings. What is wrong with you? Listen, I am good at what I do and I don't just "babysit" - these kids learn and are loved and have fun and quite frankly we're a family all unto our own. I have potty trained more kids than a plural marriage fundamentalist Morman family. And probably taught more kids to read too. (I'm not sure - do the fundamentalists allow their women to learn to read?)

In case you are coming after me now because I dissed the Momo's ala Jon Krakauer, I live in Idaho... But I still like Mitt Romney - go figure. YES, I understand there is a huge difference between the regular crazy Mormons and the fundamentalists. Oh I'm sorry you're offended that I have doubts about John Smiths Magic Spectacles... but I digress.

I'm sure each of my sweet wards will all get up in front of the world after their nobel peace prizes (wait, those aren't hard to get any more), I mean their Olympic Medals and Academy Awards and new Patents for a cure for cancer and say "I want to send a special thank you to my preschool teacher Miss Shelley who taught me how to read." Nevertheless, if they know they are loved then I will have done my job right.

Moving right along I have managed to get through the rest of my day with a joie de vivre and a spring in my step as the Advil sets in and makes the pain from my poor sore muscles I'm in go away. I WILL get through yoga tonight. I will. The bottle says I can take more in 6 hours. I'm golden.

Until tomorrow folks,
Empress Out